In the early 2000s I initiated into a Western Esoteric system with a very powerful spiritual technology that began to change my life in a major way. But even with the early changes behind me, the system began to shine a light on the ugly shadows that were caused by a great deal of emotional wounding. While a fully functioning temple might have been able to guide me through the difficulty, I was working on my own and after years of increasingly unpleasant situations, the path led to meeting my soul connection. I had thought that I knew pain and suffering before because I had gone through many bad situations, but I was not prepared in any way for the suffering the pain of the connection caused, in fact I think only people who undergo spiritual crises can usually understand how agonizing it is to meet your connection and have them push you away.
While the experience led not only to a very numinous initiation in my tradition but the beginning of an art career, I found that over time I could not process the pain. I’d go home every single day and the freshness of being pushed away never died and the pain never lessened. It got to the point where I began to truly fear every single attack of grief and I started to feel like I was going to slip into madness unless I did something about it. So I began researching and ran into the soul mate and twin flame paradigm. Having worked in a practical esoteric system (one whose rituals and meditations actually have instructions), I found 99% or more of what I read to be new age nonsense of the worst sort, yet at the same time I started seeing some similarities to what I was going through. I went through sites channeling Archangel Michael and others that broke down connections into arbitrary categories and then, like I’m sure anyone researching the phenomenon, I came across Steve Gunn. Finally, I thought, soul mates without the fluff and nonsense. I began reading through his articles and the thing that drew my attention had nothing to do with whether I had a connection or not, but that Steve claimed he could help me manage the connection and in particular deal with the pain. At this point I didn’t care about anyone else, I was just tired of endless misery.
Steve has articles on his site about why people don’t like him, but I liked him off the bat. Good spiritual teachers don’t pat you on the head and tell you you’re OK, they challenge you and push you forward, and the last thing I wanted was some dreamy psychic telling me how wonderful my soul connection was and then doing nothing about it.
Unlike a reading with what Steve would describe as a ‘fortune teller’ that focuses on external events on which I have no control….Steve’s initial reading focused on what had happened to me, why and what I was to learn from it so that I can take part in my future not sit waiting for it.. and that led into him teaching me techniques how to achieve that.
I don’t know what it’s like for everyone but what Steve taught me worked so fast that I’m still wonderfully bewildered. I went from crying in a fetal position every day to almost no emotional pain in about 2-3 months on techniques that are so simple and effective they almost make a mockery of some of the old technology. Of course my spiritual tradition taught me the idea that if something isn’t working you need to change something and so for me the effectiveness of something is all the proof I need. The irony of all of this is that I felt like I had my depression cured in several months without the use of drugs or analysis or therapy and yet most of the people I know wouldn’t believe me. And it’s not just that you were in a bad state and then you’re OK, the techniques Steve teaches improve your life if you stick with them and every single “unfolding” feels like you just went up a level. I’ve gone from pure agony from missing my soul connection to being completely OK with where I’m at. I now have opportunities all the time to teach and help people who are in remarkably similar situations. I don’t need validation anymore, even from my teachers in my spiritual tradition. And best of all there’s a tranquility starting to spread that is making me wonder if I’d go through it all again just to get here.
The only thing I worry about with Steve is how often people come up to him and give him sloppy, weepy hugs in appreciation for what he does, so he’s probably lucky he lives on the opposite coast from me. I got my life back and I am so excited about my future that I’m honestly finding it hard to keep up with all the new developments. Most people who go home from the usual psychic will always churn over in their mind whether or not what they say is true, but my happy glow now and the memory of two years of living hell behind me mean I don’t ever have to think about it again. I can just be.