I started PN in the fall of 2008 after being faced with various life situations and struggles that left me feeling completely depleted and powerless, constantly seeking validation and reassurance from others…Words would put me at ease for moments, but it was a vicious cycle that kept replaying….the cycle of human addiction, it doesn’t just have to be booze and drugs you know. Most of us suffer from addiction in some form or another and I can see that addiction to reassurance and validation is by far the most common.
I noticed changes within the first few weeks of learning the techniques from Steve, I slowly but surely felt less and less like I was at the mercy of other human beings and felt more like I was just able to be me. It didn’t happen over night, but when you stick with it, it really does work. There were times where I had relapses, but always got back on track. It was a gradual process but got easier with every step of the way as I grew more and more into my own power. I had always been a very loving person, I was quick to give to others but unfortunately had never developed a strong sense of power to go with that so I was like a door mat, I took emotional abuse from people in my life to limits some people would not believe. I had no boundaries…
There came a point where I had just grown into my power enough to not take abuse from others anymore….it was a scary decision to make, I felt like i was diving into the deep end not knowing how to swim because I didn’t know living my life in a way where I was not seeking approval from the people closest to me. I finally realized though that I couldn’t go on taking emotional abuse from people around me for the sake of being accepted. I had to step away and become emotionally independent. The following year after deciding I wanted to be be emotionally independent was one of immense growth. I continued to practice PN, I did things I never thought I would like traveling on my own, became involved in fitness and got healthy, started dating again, and made new friends
PN has helped me come into my power, it’s been an all around life altering practice. I have let go of certain friends who drained me, I have let go of material possessions and expenses that gave me a sense of pride but also burdened and stressed me. I let go of thinking I have to do what I’m “supposed to do” i.e work a career that’s high paying, live in a posh place and find a nice man to get serious with. Life has now shifted to just being and doing the things in life that excite me like climbing mountains and randomly venturing off to tropical beach islands on my own not even knowing where I would end up staying….
The adventures continue, and not knowing exactly where I will end up is part of the excitement of life. It was once stressful to not plan every last detail and know every single outcome in advance. 3 years ago I would have thought the life I’m living at this very moment is crazy irresponsible and backwards due to the high value I placed on material things and what I considered structure. I now know what freedom truly is, and even when things get a bit scary, I just keep jumping off the cliffs into the new territory and find something new and rewarding every time I do this.