Journal addiction : There have only been a handful of people in my life who’ve taught me anything of real use, and Steve Gunn is one of them.
I found Steve on-line by accident after another sleepless night rooting around the Internet desperate for help. Desperate is the word. Desperate to understand, desperate to read the future and desperate for someone — anyone — who could walk me out of the mess my life had become. The more I searched, the more anxious and exhausted I had become.
When I first talked to him I was a blubbering, hysterical, nervous wreck. He read me and where I was in my life and explained that I was at a crossroads in my life that was designed to get me to open up, become self-empowered and to stop hiding behind the goody-goody, polished, professional mask I had been constructing since I was a schoolgirl. As he said, here was the Universe’s way to get me to live my true nature at last and find peace. But this wasn’t going to happen without work on my part….
and this is where PN came in…To think I almost didn’t do it because I couldn’t give up my journal-writing! This is when I realized that it’s not just alcoholics and drug-abusers who have addictions. My ego’s mechanisms to avoid painful emotions at-all-costs were nearly as strong and destructive as any addiction to substances. PN was so difficult, but I simply had no choice. I couldn’t go back to being a blubbering wreck, but I couldn’t go forward either until I did the work with 100% discipline. I got there in the end, but relapsed. And relapsed again. It’s so important not to get discouraged at these points and just do the work similar to the way you brush your teeth — it’s non-negotiable and don’t ‘think’ about it. Just do it. With Steve’s help, I came back each time stronger than ever.
Flash-forward: Now, at present, I cannot tell you enough how differently I feel inside now. Instead of anxiety and confusion, I’m more at peace.
Instead of frantically trying to divine the future, I’m content with what’s in front of me in the here and now. Instead of being in need for someone who can make me feel ‘good’, I’m the one capable of managing my emotional flow. I am in awe of the Universe and am humbled by it. I look at my fellow man and woman with a little bit more compassion. Instead of my ego expressing its judgmental, subjective viewpoints in journals, I’m able to slip into ‘the zone’ with greater ease when I write or express myself. I am honoring my interests and passions, really indulging in them, for the first time since I was a child.
I am more emotionally balanced than I have ever, ever been in my life. Quite honestly, I couldn’t have imagined it was possible to permanently clear emotions until I did PN. It has been an answer to a prayer said long, long ago.
Julie – London